slytherin-starkid-of-tardis:

phinflynn:

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

This show is fucking brilliant.

I hate my friends

lunaticphan:

So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT

But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. 

Cry

A QUICK LESSON ON CROPS AND WHIPS FROM YOUR FAVOURITE HORSE RIDER

satan-doge:

iwillincendiotheheartoutofyou:

THIS IS A CROP

IT DOES NOT MAKE THE ‘WHH-CH’ WHIP NOISE

IT CAN LEAVE BRUISING BUT WILL NOT CUT YOUR SKIN

THIS IS A WHIP

IT DOES MAKE THE ‘WHH-CH’ WHIP NOISE

IT PROBABLY WON’T LEAVE BRUISING BUT CAN CUT YOUR SKIN

NOW GO FORTH AND WRITE ACCURATE PORN

I JUST SPAT CRANBERRY JUICE ALL OVER MY HOMEWORK AND DESK BECUASE OF THE END OF THAT.